


Crowley's Games

by Zeckarin



Series: And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Queerplatonic Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Snake Crowley (Good Omens), crowley is a drama queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:03:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21362662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeckarin/pseuds/Zeckarin
Summary: Crowley likes to play games. To shock, tempt, manipulate and act as a general nuisance to humanity.Aziraphale usually humours him. Except when the game is on him.Every chapter is an individual story.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens) & Anathema Device
Series: And they were roomates... (but there were two beds) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523585
Comments: 65
Kudos: 152





	1. The Riot Game

**Author's Note:**

> I had that in my head for a long time. There will not be a definite amount of chapters because I want to keep it open. I have lots of ideas. I will add chapters when I feel like writing fun stuff and my work in progress is too whumpy for my mood^^
> 
> Look at this beautiful drawing of female Crowley made by gifted LaskasBasket !!  
Thank you so much again, I LOVE IT !

St James Park was absolutely _lovely_ at this time of year. The birds chirping enthusiastically, the flowers, the light breeze, and the sun just brilliant enough to warm without burning.

Mornings like this one reminded Aziraphale of Eden, right before that dreadful apple business. It filled him with joy and contentment.

He sighed with satisfaction. His day will get even better soon. Crowley and him were going to do some sightseeing, then dine at the Ritz.

He took his pocket watch out to look at the time. Crowley was late. He always was, of course, punctuality was a virtue after all, but he’d better hurry or they would miss the beautiful view…

A familiar silhouette appeared at the gates of the park, and the angel brightened. Crowley slithered lazily in the alley, head tilting in recognition at the sight of Aziraphale.

The angel shook his head with a fond smile. Crowley was always moving more languidly than usual when the sun was out and bright after a cold winter. The Serpent basked in the new found warmth, delighting in the rays of sunshine.

The angel’s smile turned into a slight frown when he spotted the man that followed the demon. He Looked at him and his frown deepened. The human brusquely caught up with Crowley, ready to strike. Aziraphale ran.

One second, the man was smugly moving away from his crime, the next he was grabbed by the collar by a strange man in outdated clothes. The strange, white haired man was frowning, but he couldn’t even have scared his aunt Mildred, who was afraid of her own shadow on good days.

“How dare you, Sir ! This is unacceptable behaviour, and I demand that you apologise to this young lady !”

The young lady smiled inwardly. She knew luring her last victim here would more than probably have Aziraphale in a fit, but this was even better than expected. The angel was in full “righteous fury” mode, and that was definitely Crowley’s favourite mode (when it wasn’t aimed at herself, of course).

People were gathering from everywhere, attracted by the commotion like moths to a flame.

Ha… humans, thought Crowley with the pride of a mother. Most of them were already starting to film the scene with their phones. It was perfect.

She made sure that none of these records will feature Aziraphale clearly. Pranks had limits. The angel was waiting for an answer, and damn, that human prick was too stupid to see what was awaiting him.

“I didn’t do a thing ! Unhand me, you lunatic !”

Bystanders, who were gathering around, looked at each other in confusion, trying to guess where was the wind blowing from. A crowd needed to know who it was siding with. Well she could take care of that.

“You assaulted me !” Cried Crowley, conjuring tears to her eyes and letting her lips tremble.

“Oh, come on !” yelled the man, waving at Crowley “I pinched her butt. No big deal !”

_Oh, now you’ve done it_, man, thought Crowley with delight, letting the tears run along her cheeks.

“No big deal ?” Repeated Aziraphale slowly. “No big deal to assault another human being ?”

“It wasn’t assault !” snarled the man. “She’d asked for it ! I mean, look at her !”

Everyone looked. For this occasion, Crowley had chosen to wear a particularly smokin’ body, hourglass style, not in fashion presently but always a great classic. She had claded it in a black silk blouse and a long red skirt so tight on her hips that it didn’t let much to the imagination. To Aziraphale, she probably looked perfectly decent. To humanity, she was Sin incarnate.

“So ?” Asked Aziraphale coldly “Do I have to assume that lady can not wear whatever she fancies because you, young man, have not the slightest degree of decency or self control ?”

“Oh come on ! Look how she’s dressed ! And she was swaying her hips at me !”

Aziraphale gasped in outrage. “Watch your mouth, young man ! I will not stand that kind of language ! People can walk and dress as they want and should be allowed to do it without having to bear grubby, filthy hands like yours !”

The crowd really enjoyed the angel’s righteous indignation. Most of them were already nodding. Not there yet, but the riot was festering.

_Just a little something_, thought Crowley, tapping her finger on her chin absent-mindedly. What could she add ? That little something that would stir the hornet's nest…

“Did you see anyone else acting like you ?” added Aziraphale, carrying on his tirade “did you see me try to grab that poor girl ?”

The man shoved the angel (who decided to appear weak and stumbled backwards) and eyed him with superior contempt.

“Course _you_ wouldn’t want to touch her !” he barked before adding a word that was not really, as Aziraphale would put it, _nice_. At all.

Time stopped, and Crowley had nothing to do with it. Her eyes widened in delighted anticipation. The world held its breath.

Then exploded.

“You know, angel” explained Crowley with the contented feeling of a job Well Done while they calmly walked away from all the yelling “he wasn’t totally wrong on one point. I kinda asked for it. Got into his mind and gave him ideas, tempted it to do it for the last five minutes.”

“Oh, I know that. And ?”

“And what ? I pushed him, that’s what. Not entirely his fault, is all. Not that I care. He’s a freak.”

“Oh don’t I know_ that_” mumbled Aziraphale, who had read the man’s memories. He extended his arm towards Crowley, who took it with a flattered smile. The angel’s old-fashioned ways were sometimes endearing. In the distance, police’s sirens were closing on rapidly. Crowley used a demonic miracle to prevent any duck from being caught on the future stampede.

“But, my dear, humans are benefiting from a great thing called free will. They also have the ability to tell right from wrong, a courtesy they should thank you for. No temptation can be acted upon without a human decision.”

Crowley hummed in approval.

“Yep, you’re right. couldn’t tempt him if there wasn’t ground. Knew he was thinking about it. This one” she added, pointing at a man and a woman walking hand in hand in the distance “would be very difficult to tempt at all.”

Aziraphale smiled, and Looked at the couple. He didn’t recognise them, even if the man reminded him vaguely of someone. Had he mentally dress him with the uniform of a certain delivery company, he would have recognised the human that came to take his sword after Armageddon.

“Of course you couldn’t tempt him. He is in love. Has been for twenty years… that is so heart-warming !”

“Don’t make me puke before diner, angel.”

“Oh but we won’t eat yet ! Have you forgotten ? What about sightseeing, Crowley ? Gabriel’s shift is about to end !”

The ginger menace stopped in her tracks.

Gabriel’s punishment from the Almighty was to live amongst humans for five years, deprived of all his angelic powers. To atone for his sins (and Aziraphale knew at least one of these was his attempted execution) he had to work in a community service, picking up garbage in different parks of London.

“Oh, shit ! I forgot ! What time is it ?”

The angel produced his watch.

“Only ten minutes left...”

Crowley changed body in a blink. He would have to run, and that skirt would never survive it. Back to his lanky, usual corporation, he took the angel’s elbow and pulled.

“Come on, Aziraphale !! We have to wiggle on !”

Watching the Archangel in his dirty overalls was the highlight of the day for Crowley. No way he was going to miss that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The description of Gabriel's punishment can be found in Whumptober, chapter 18 'Muffled Scream". Here is the link :
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/20934794/chapters/50241569


	2. The Shapeshifter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anathema is coming to London for a few days.  
Aziraphale and Crowley are ready to great her.  
Well... at least one of them is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to megzseattle for beta reading AGAIN !  
This chapter would be way less fun without her !

Anathema was anxious at spending the week in Aziraphale’s bookshop. Anxious and delighted, in equal measure. It wasn’t the angel that unsettled her but his dark and brooding friend. She’d never saw Crowley smile, and he was always gloomily staring through a window or hovering near the angel every time they talked, like she was about to eat him alive.

He was weird. She often wondered how her angelic friend could stand him. Habits, maybe. Lack of any choice, probably. He couldn’t really speak to a lot of people after all.

But she would never accept to live with such a man... no… thing. No, that was rude. Entity. He was just so… serious. And never talked.

And there was his aura. Aziraphale’s aura, when you concentrated really hard on seeing it, as it wasn’t exactly on the same plane as human’s, was warm and full of light, soothing and appeasing. Crowley’s… wasn’t. It was not aggressive, per say, but it was definitely evil. She was pretty sure he dimmed it in her presence. She didn’t trust him one bit, and she feared him a little, even if she didn't want to acknowledge it.

She parked her car in a free place just outside the bookshop, wondering if it was a stroke of luck or a real miracle (it was a miracle) and accessed the stairs. She was supposed to come for teatime, but Aziraphale had called this morning to ask her to come for lunch if she could. He would cook. The poor dear probably never had a friend to cook for before. Crowley didn't ate.

She raised her hand towards the door. It opened before she could knock. Right in front of her appeared a very strange vision. A breathless demon, tears in his eyes, shoulders shaking, waving for her to come in. She compelled without even thinking about it, too shocked to ponder.

Crowley looked amused and very guilty at the same time. She felt like she’d stepped in another dimension.

“Hu… hello ?” she said tentatively.

“Oh, book girl... Book girl… come, come quick !” was her only answer before Crowley bit his lip like he was trying very hard not to smile. He had the face of a kid caught hand in a jar of candies.

“What… what happened ?” She couldn’t help but smile a little. Maybe she’d misjudged him after all. Maybe he was acting aloof and distant in Tadfield because he was uncomfortable...

“I swear I didn’t think it would work ! You have to believe me !”

“Mister Cr… I mean, Crowley. What are you talking about ? What happened ?”

She suddenly noticed something. There was an absence here, wasn’t it ?

_Oh no_…

“Where is Aziraphale ? Did something happen to him ? Why are you laughing ?”

Crowley raised his hands, biting his lower lip.

“He’s fine. He’s fine, I swear ! He’s just… indisposed. A little.”

With a trembling finger, he pointed a shoebox on the desk and covered his mouth with his other hand.

Anathema was a lot of things, but hesitant was not a word often used to describe her. She walked decidedly to the desk and opened the shoebox, bracing herself to whatever could be inside.

It was… a mouse. A tiny, very tiny white mouse. With fluffy fur, adorable ears, and expressive eyes. And damn, it was angry. She would never have thought a mouse could look angry, but this one was _furious_

“Please, Crowley. Please tell me it isn’t Aziraphale” she said sternly, turning to face him.

“I can’t” answered the demon, a little sheepishly. “I really didn’t do it on purpose. Well… I mean, it wasn’t supposed to _work_.”

The mouse started gnawing ferociously on a corner of the box. Anathema understood him perfectly.

“What. Have you DONE to him ?”

“It can be reversed ! Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, witch girl ! He’s _fine _!”

“FINE ? He’s a mouse !”

“Yes ! He is ! Why aren’t you laughing ? It’s funny, right ? Even him will find it funny eventually, don’t you think ?” The demon looked at her hopefully.

He extended an arm and delicately took the mouse. Who bit him.

“Aw ! Not nice, angel !”

“Give him to me !”

Anathema took the little thing who settled in her hand before sending a scathing look to the demon. So did she.

“Shape-shifting ? Really ? How did you do that ? Why can’t he change back on his own ?”

“T’was a potion. Found it in a book, added just a tiny bit of magic, and he drank it… at’s all.”

She raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Are you telling me Aziraphale agreed to drink your little experiment like a...”

His eyes lit up.

“you were going to say ‘guinea pig’, weren’t you ?”

She chose not to answer that question.

“It’s dangerous, Crowley ! That’s forbidden magic ! People have died for less than that !”

Crowley snarled.

“Oh come on ! It’s not dangerous for him, he’s an angel ! Just a little prank, that’s all. I put it in his tea, if you really want to know. He drank it all.”

“You are…” She searched for good insult, but it was very difficult to find. “You are the worst friend in the world !”

Crowley seemed a little hurt.

“No, I’m not. I’m a good friend. He said it. Anyway, turn him back.”

She gaped.

“I… What ?”

“Turn him back. With your powers. I made the potion for that too, I’m not a monster.”

_Of course you’re not. You’re just a demon who change people into mice._

“Crowley, I don’t know what kind of magic you used or what herbs you put in that potion, but I am certain I can’t do that. I am human, not… not a _freak_ like you !”

“No need to be rude, book girl”

The demon walked to a shelf and pulled an old book out.

“Here, it’s… there, this page ! See ? That’s what I did. That’s the reverse thingy. Do it.”

She shook her head, looking at the instructions.

“This is… way too much for me. I don’t even understand half these words. What is that ?”

“Oh, Enochian and latin, mostly” answered Crowley, looking bored.

“Sorry, but my Enochian is a little rusty, Crowley.” She tried to put as much sarcasm as she could muster into that sentence.

“You mean you don’t speak it, right ?”

“Of course I don’t speak it, you stupid….”

_Don’t insult the demon._

“I mean, you have to do it yourself. Now.”

For the first time since she entered the shop, Crowley looked scared.

“I can’t be here when he transforms back ! He will kill me !”

“I thought he would find it _funny_. That’s what you said. Funny.”

“Well, yeah. In a century or two. Not _today_ !”

“Do it now, or I swear I’ll… I’ll...” She really tried to find a threat that would actually scare a 6 thousand years demon enough to obey her.

Crowley rolled his eyes. She didn’t saw it, of course, but she knew he did.

“All right.” He pulled a flask out of his pocket and dropped some of its content in a little saucer on the desk. She carefully placed the mouse in front of it.

“Come on Aziraphale, drink it” asked the demon with a tentative smile.

The mouse looked at Crowley, and _frowned. _

Anathema crouched to its level.

“Please, you have to drink it” she begged. She didn’t trust the demon one bit, but she was certain of one thing about him : he would never hurt Aziraphale on purpose.

The mouse seemed to know that also, because it started drinking.

Crowley stepped behind her, like she was a human shield, and pronounced strange words in a strange tongue. She felt a rush of magic course her blood when he sent it towards the mouse.

Who stopped drinking and sat, looking at them, it’s little nose wriggling.

“When will it start working ?” murmured the witch, not leaving the mouse from her sight.

There was no answer. She turned, and faced a petrified demon. He wasn’t smiling any more.

“It… it’s impossible” he answered in the same tone. “It should have… Something must be wrong ! It should have worked !”

Anathema’s eyes widened.

“WHAT ? What did you forget ?”

Crowley was frantic now, all his cool facade crumbling, revealing a terrified demon.

“Nothing ! I did exactly as the book said ! He should have changed !”

He brusquely stepped towards the desk, hands outstretched…

The mouse leaped onto the chair, then on the floor, and ran under a shelf.

“Aziraphale ! Don’t do that, angel, come back here !” yelled the demon, dropping on all four to look under the furniture.

Anathema started desperately flipping through the book.

“Oh, God… stop him, Crowley ! Don’t lose him ! Why is he running away ?”

The demon was crawling on the floor, half buried under the shelves.

“His mouse brain is taking control. T’s hard to overcome that when you’re not used to it. HA ! I see him ! He’s coming your way ! Catch him, book girl !”

She saw a white streak heading towards the… open door.

“SHIT !”

Anathema leaped, and landed flat on her front, her hand grazing soft fur. The mouse reached the entryway. And disappeared outside.

_Oh no. Not the pavement !_

“**Aziraphale !**” Yelled Crowley, half muffled by the shelf he tried to extricate himself from.

“Algernon ! What are you doing here, dearest ?”

_Wait_. Anathema knew this voice. She stared at the door. Someone entered. Holding a mouse.

“You know you shouldn’t go outside. It is way too dangerous for you, my friend.”

It was Aziraphale. AND the mouse.

Anathema heard Crowley walk calmly behind her, and saw him pass her by, hands in his pockets.

The angel didn’t seem to notice either of them, still talking to his _freaking mouse_.

“Why were you in such a rush ? Did Crowley annoy you again ? My poor dear…”

The mouse received a light angelic kiss on its nose. Crowley groaned in disgust. Aziraphale looked up at him, frowning.

“What did you do to Algernon this time, Crowley ?”

“Me ? Absolutely nothing, angel, cross my heart. Gave him a little water to drink, at’s all ! You know I’ll never touch a hair on your precious little monster.”

Anathema raised on her feet, lips tight. The angel lit up.

“Oh, Anathema ! You are here early, my dear ! How was your ride ? Did your Covent reunion changed date ? Was it today ?”

She looked at the angel, a box of cakes in one hand, a mouse in the other. _Of course _he hadn’t call her to ask her to come one hour early.

She slowly turned to face the demon, who was grinning from ear to ear, looking at her expectantly.

“You. Are DEAD !”

Crowley laughingly ran up the stairs, followed closely by a witch in a fury.

Aziraphale watch them disappear and smiled. It seemed Anathema wasn’t afraid of his demon any more. Crowley must have played a little trick on her to break the ice. How nice. It would be impossible for her to fear Crowley, not after (if he deciphered the footsteps correctly) running around the kitchen table in his pursuit.

Gently stroking his little friend, he got to the back room. He should arrange the cakes on the plates. And prepare some tea for his guest.

Humming happily, he sent a quick miracle upstairs and turned the little flask of Holy water in Anathema’s bag to regular tap water.

Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be another Game BUT Anathema will still be here and we will learn more about her. And Algernon.


	3. Anathema's Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anathema as a favour to ask to our favourite angel...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a challenge for me. I wanted to write this chapter right...

« So, what’s the story about that mouse ? Did you two adopt it or something ?» Asked Anathema on her second day at the bookshop, drinking tea at the kitchen’s table.

Crowley (who’d taken care to wake up early so he could have breakfast with their guest), looked pointedly at Aziraphale.

“It’s not MY mouse. It’s HIS mouse. I don’t want any mouse, specially that one. I’m a snake ! Mouse are not pets in my world, they’re...”

His gaze crossed the angel’s, and he stopped talking, looking through the window with a pout, while draining his mug of coffee. Anathema smiled behind the rim of her cup.

“Crowley is just jealous, my dear girl. Algernon is a very old friend, and he isn’t anybody’s pet. More of a companion. Someone to talk to when everybody abandoned me.”

Crowley pushed back his chair, getting up in indignation.

“I only slept a little century ! That was NOT abandoning !”

The angel looked away, sipping his tea with a detachment that was way too studied to be genuine.

“What are you talking about, my dear ? Did I mention your nap at all ?”

Crowley spluttered. Anathema was having the time of her life, but something had roused her curiosity.

“Wait. A century nap ? Did you… find the mouse at the end of it or something ?”

Aziraphale smiled kindly.

“Of course not.”

“But… how old is this mouse, exactly ?”

The angel’s face took a very soft expression.

“He was here when I bought the bookshop. It was… well, it was before French Revolution. Dreadful times. He must be about 250 years old, give or take.”

Anathema blinked. Then looked at Crowley, who hadn’t put his glasses on. She didn’t dare ask if he did it on purpose or if he’d just forgot about them as he’d woke up. The demon smiled encouragingly. She got back to her angelic friend.

“But… Aziraphale… mice don’t live that long. They… well, they live only a few years.”

“Algernon is a very healthy mouse. And he eats good food, I take care of that.”

Crowley scoffed.

“You’re miraculing him young every year, angel. Come on, admit it !”

“I will certainly not ! Miraculing him young, really. I never heard something that ridiculous ! It wouldn’t be angelic behaviour at all !”

Anathema noticed with some admiration that the angel hadn’t actually lied.

“He seemed very smart. I really thought you were him, he didn’t act like a real mouse at all.”

The demon snickered.

“Spent too much time here. The bookshop’s rub off on it.”

“Algernon always has been a very clever mouse. You just don’t like him because he is cuter than you.”

Crowley splutered.

“He’s not ! I’m way… It’s not true ! Even so, I don’t care if a stupid mouse is CUTE !”

Anathema giggled as the demon walked to the kitchen’s counter and poured himself another coffee before turning back to the table and pointing at her vengefully.

“Anyway, that doesn’t explain your presence here, book girl ! You’re hiding something, and I know you’re not here for some Covent stupidity. I can smell lies. Demon, remember ?”

Aziraphale frowned. “Crowley ! That is not very nice !”

“Well guess what, angel ? I’m not NICE !”

Anathema looked from one of them to the other, her smile disappearing. These two weren’t joking anymore. She would have to spill the beans sooner than she thought. She had hoped for a nice, elaborated way to bring it up, but…

“Actually… Crowley’s right. I came here only to see you. I… I need your help.”

Their quarrel forgotten, angel and demon looked at her. The angel with compassion and concern, the demon with a little smirk, like there was some mischief to be made. Well, he would be disappointed, she didn’t need anyone to be punished.

“I… I’m pregnant...”

She couldn’t say another word that Aziraphale beamed so brightly it illuminated the whole room. Crowley said nothing, his eyes only widening.

Then the angel’s light dimmed brusquely and he bit his lip.

“Oh... Are you... my dear, are you quite…I mean... was it a good surprise for you, dear girl ?”

He looked so concerned, and tried so well to hide the joy he had felt at first. He really, really was caring about what SHE felt, and would help her in any way she needed.

That guy was truly too good to be true. She took his hand, strangely feeling like she needed to comfort him.

Crowley’s expression didn’t change, which would have been telling if she had knew him better. The demon usually didn’t like at all when someone touched Aziraphale.

“I am happy. I mean, I want to be happy. I have lived all my life knowing exactly what to do and where to go, and I can finally live on my own terms. I don’t intend to lose any more time. I don’t care if people think we are rushing things up, I love Newt and I intend to spend my life with him. Saving the world together is one of the best way to get to really know someone. Know who he is, deep down. So the answer is yes, I am happy. I love children, always wanted to have some, and knowing I may never be able to build a family was one of my greatest fears. But… I can’t tell Newt. Not now. There is something you should know first.”

Aziraphale looked at her and squeezed her hand in encouragement. He was not a touchy person, but always forget it when he felt it was needed. And it was indeed very much needed now.

Crowley slowly put his mug on the counter, looking at his feet.

Anathema took a deep breath.

“It happened during Armaggedon. The day I met Newt. That's when the baby was conceived.”

Aziraphale’s eyebrows shot up. He looked more shocked by that than the baby thing.

“Oh dear. That was… I guess it is… cute ?”

He really tried to appear cool about it, but on the mater of love the angel was very old fashioned. He never liked (or understood) the idea of humans “making love” without the actual feeling. On another hand, he didn’t really understood sex with feelings either. It felt like a huge waste of reading time to him.

Anathema frowned.

“It was quite precipitated, but can I remind you the non judging thing ? It was the end of the world, and Agnes… I mean, it’s not your business !”

“Oy !” interfered the demon, his head shooting up “You’re not fair, here ! You came here to talk to the angel, don’t be mean to him !”

Aziraphale looked at him, a little lost, then back at Anathema.

“Sorry, dear girl. I didn’t want you to feel offended.”

“No, it’s me. I’m on edge, sorry" She was looking at Crowley, who nodded in answer.

"Anyway… I don’t know if the child is… does it have any chance on being… not normal ?”

“Not normal ? In what way ?” asked a confused angel.

“We conceived it on Armageddon ! A day magic was everywhere ! SATAN was there ! Archangels ! Adam’s powers at their peak ! I mean… it could have affected it, don’t you think ?”

“There was only one Archangel, my dear. But yes, I understand. This is easy to check.”

The angel extended his hand, and she took it. Warmth invaded her body and spirit, and one second later, her friend smiled and let go of her hand.

“Everything is fine. Perfectly healthy baby.”

“Thank God. I was so afraid to tell Newt before I came here.”

“So… how do you think he will react ?”

“I am not sure. Do you think I should call him ? Or wait to get home ?"

“Face to face may be better. Joy should be shared together. I am very happy for you two. This little girl will be so lucky !”

Crowley groaned and covered his face with his hand. Anathema’s eyes widened like saucers.

Aziraphale looked at them.

“What ? What did I say ?”

It took a lot of time for Anathema to persuade the angel she wasn’t mad. She was, actually, very happy.

“I always wanted a girl, you know ?”

Crowley snorted “Of course. Who wouldn’t ? Boys are boring.”

The witch looked at him.

“Excuse me ? Why are you two presenting as men if you don’t like them ?”

“Didn’t say I don’t like them. Just that they’re boring. And I don’t always present as one. Mostly, it’s easier. There's a lot of things women can't do or say without attracting attention in most countries. Better for them here these days, though.”

Aziraphale tutted.

“_Every_ human is fascinating. I personally present as a man because… that’s the corporation that has been handed to me 6000 years ago. Never thought about changing it. I am used to it, and it is still in very good condition, it would be a waste to change it so soon.”

Anathema looked at Aziraphale clean, worn jacket. She understood perfectly. Aziraphale was a… man of habits.

“Anyway, shouldn’t you tell Newt, now ? Do you want us to drive you home ?”

“Hell no !” She saw Crowley’s offended face and added. “Sorry. I mean, I’m in the big city, I want to see it. Let’s go make some sightseeing and I will go home tonight. Hum ? I really have to think of what to say to him anyway.”

Crowley could taste her doubt and fear. She needed time to adjust. He could understand that. Aziraphale on the other hand looked dubious.

“But… he needs to know. Do you think he will react badly ?”

She answered without the slightest doubt.

“No. I don’t think so. He will be surprised but happy, I think. He accepted the end of the world without fainting after all. What is a baby after that ?”

Crowley snorted. The witch was in for a lot of surprises if she thought caring for a baby was as easy as preventing Armageddon. Better for her to keep her illusions for the time being.

“Sightseeing, eh ? Ok, book girl, let us go. Angel, can you bring us a map of London ? A _recent_ one ?” He sounded dubious.

“Of course I have recent maps !”

Huffing in annoyance, the angel left the room. Crowley looked at Anathema.

“Sorry, you fell yesterday with my… you know. I didn’t know.”

Oh gosh, she really didn’t know how she could have been scared of that little puppy before.

“I’m fine, Crowley. Really. I didn’t even really fall. The baby is fine. Aziraphale said it, right ?”

It seemed to calm the demon a little. She smiled.

“And I am so happy to know it’s a girl. Newt’s mother has the cutest name, and I’m sure he will approve if we name her in her honour. Oh, you will be the first to know !”

Crowley blinked and smiled genuinely. That gave him an almost childlike expression.

“Really ? Waw, that’s huge. Go on, I’m all ears, book girl.”

“What do you think of Gabrielle ? Isn’t it precious ?”

Silence felt over the shop. On ground floor, Aziraphale looked up in confusion, staring right through the ceiling at his friend, wondering what on earth was happening up there to create so much turmoil. Three long, long seconds stretched during which Anathema could see a lot of things passing on her new friend’s face. Denial, Confusion, anger, denial again, before the demon brusquely yelled.

“_**Over my dead body**_ ! You hear me, Anathema ! You will not, I am serious here, you will not name that poor child Gabrielle !”

Aziraphale appeared in the kitchen, map in hand, and sent Crowley a very stern look.

“Why on earth are you yelling like that, Crowley ? Anathema needs calm, could you please cease that ridiculous tantrum ? Of course she wouldn’t name her baby _that_. She hates Gabriel. I told her how he is.”

The angel started fussing over the forty year old map (the youngest he’d found), then poured some more tea to their guest, and mumbled something about a picnic basket.

Crowley looked at the young woman, who had the face of the cat having just eaten a canary.

“You… you...” She smiled even more.

The demon’s gaze softened, turned proud.

“Well done, book girl. Good one.”

She sipped her tea.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anathema's little girl will be so spoiled ! Imagine, one "big brother" Antichrist, a demon and an angel "Uncles"... 
> 
> We will see more of Algernon, of course. That mouse is a stubborn little devil.  
And he HATES Crowley.  
I so love jealousy...


	4. The Temporary Truce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very, very mean woman confronts Aziraphale.  
Two beings are not happy to see that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write more about Algernon ^^

  
  


Aziraphale was having a hard time. That customer was very persistent. The worst kind of customer. She’d saw his old “Buggre Alle This” bible and wanted it… to offer to her niece. No way. It wasn’t for sale, he kept repeating her, but she just wouldn’t _listen_ to him.

The angel started metaphorically sweating. He wasn’t built to say no. No was not in his vocabulary when it came to answering a request. But it was his “Buggre Alle This”… he couldn’t just… let it go… right ?

“Madam, I assure you I have lots of other bibles, nicer ones, with beautiful illustrations...”

“No, no, I need this one you understand ! She loves old books ! I need it !”

Oh dear. Not that word. He couldn’t resist that word. Why was he so good at saying ‘_no’_ to Crowley and so bad at it when it came to strangers ?

“Madam, really” he tried feebly. “Really, I do not think...”

A very familiar and very welcome sensation suddenly overcame him. There was a snake coiling around his ankles. The black serpent raised his head and looked threateningly at the woman.

Who _beamed._

“What an adorable little cutie ! Aren’t you a dear ? Yes you are !” she cooed.

Aziraphale stared at her in disbelief. The snake unhinged his jaw. It may not have been voluntary.

“Well, then, I’ll leave now. How much do I owe you, Mister Fell ?”

Aziraphale looked at the book in her hand with such longing that every human with a heart would have surrendered.

Unfortunately, Mrs Gibsy’s heart had turned to stone years before. She smiled victoriously and headed to the desk. Where sat a little mouse.

She gasped, clutched the book to her chest in defence, and took two steps back.

The snake uncoiled and slithered towards the desk. Interesting.

“You… you have mice in here !” said the lady with all the appearance of calm she could muster. She still clutched the book ferociously. Crowley was not going to let her out with it. She saw him slither her way ominously and _smiled_.

What was wrong with that human ?

“Nice little snake. Eat it ! Eat the mean mouse, my beautiful lill’ snakey !”

Urgh. That voice drooped so much sugar he wanted to throw up. Aziraphale straightened up. He did not like hearing about eating Algernon (Crowley had learned that one the hard way…). The angel walked towards his customer with a stern expression.

“Now, Madam, if I could...”

The woman spin on herself and stopped him with an imperious hand on his chest. Crowley hissed in fury. Aziraphale paled and took a step back. She followed, happy to feel in position of force and to get away from the counter and the mouse. She was still touching him with the point of a very steady finger.

“Mister Fell….” She said in a sure, steely voice “I am a very busy woman. Now tell me how much I owe you and I’ll be on my way.”

“I… I...” Aziraphale shot a desperate look around him before surrendering. It was written all over his face, in the way the light in his eyes faded, his shoulders sagged and his hands stopped fluttering to stay immobile alongside his body. Crowley trembled with anger. He tried very hard not to turn back to his human form. He should not, he reminded himself, bite that woman. Aziraphale will never forgive him to threaten a human life over a book.

But it was not about the book anymore. He knew it, _SHE_ knew it. She didn’t even care about that bloody book, she cared about power, and the waves of _glee _that escaped her at the sight of Aziraphale’s defeated expression were burning the demon like acid. The angel was too holy to feel all that, but Crowley did.

That woman was not a nice person. She reminded him of Gabriel and his goons. And even worse, she was clearly reminding _Aziraphale_ of them, too.

Apparently someone else could see that. Under his serpent form, Crowley was always more sensitive to animals thoughts and emotions. Algernon was _pissed o__f__f_, and he jumped from the counter to the chair, then the floor, before rushing forward, one very clear thought in his mind.

_MINE !_

Oh yeah. Right. Algernon didn’t like anyone touching Aziraphale. Crowley hated the little bugger’s possessiveness, but today the demon would accept any help. Usually, the mouse’s anger and jealousy was aimed at him, and he’d get bitten more than once for getting “too close” to the angel. After a while, you learned to expect sharp tiny teeth in your ankles without a start. Or you started wearing boots.

Algernon was small, even for a mouse, but he was so vindictive he could make a Rottweiler run away. None of Crowley’s rat friends dared enter the bookshop such was their fear of him. And they’d been raised by a demon.

Algernon aimed directly at his target, and flames, seeing him bite into that woman’s foot, ripping through the expensive pantyhose, was pure gold.

There was a silence while the woman’s eyes widened, then lowered down. And the loudest shriek ever heard inside the bookshop erupted.

Never had a customer ran out that quickly, and Crowley deflated a little at the thought he wasn’t responsible for it. But Aziraphale was gathering his fallen book, a relieved little smile at the corner of his mouth (too little a smile) and he petted Algernon lightly before raising up.

“Well… that was very nice, my little friend. Thank you.”

He carefully placed the book on its usual shelf, his shoulder still tensed.

“Do you want a tea, Crowley ? I think I could use a tea. I’ll be right back.”

Crowley got back to his usual corporation and watched as the angel retreated to the first floor. He knew better than to follow him. He looked down at Algernon.

“I hate humans, stupid mouse.”

Algernon looked up at him, clearly thinking exactly the same, minus the ‘mouse’.

The demon strolled along the shelves, picking up books at random before putting them back. He wanted to do something about that bloody woman. But he really didn’t want to leave Aziraphale alone with his tea.

He didn’t think about the woman coming back. Neither did Aziraphale. Humans, once shooed away, tended not to come back. It had to do with self-preservation. An obscure part of their brain, able to sense the threat, telling them _“why don’t we forget all that ? Hmm ? I think it would be wiser.”_

Never before had a scared customer came back. So one hour later, as a still slightly subdued Aziraphale was scanning the paper in search of old books selling while Crowley sprawled on his couch, playing on his phone, the doorbell surprised them both.

The angel got up and exited the back room. Crowley fought an urge to accompany him. He knew he was overprotective. Aziraphale was fine, he would get better eventually, after a good meal out. And that woman was…

In the shop.

Crowley got up in a blink. That was that bloody woman’s voice ! She was back !

And she was not _alone_.

“Pest control ? But… I don’t understand… there is no threat in this shop, I assure you...”

She was back with an official and pest control experts. Who was that harpy ? And Aziraphale was anxious again, damn !

“Mice ! I saw one ! It bit me ! I demand that that place got closed up and searched !”

“Closed ? You can’t close my bookshop ! It’s… it isn’t legal...” the angel’s voice faltered and stopped.

Crowley heard paper shuffling. Ugh. They had brought papers. Aziraphale was doomed if there was an official stamp on it.

“It… oh… I see.”

Yep. Official stamp.

A light squeak erupted near the demon’s boots. He looked at Algernon.

“You. Stupid mouse. Wanna help ?”

A deadly glare answered him.

“Him, you dummy. Help him. _You_ put him in this situation !”

It was satisfying to see the mouse look guilty.

“Alright then. Show time.”

Aziraphale was half despaired, half intrigued.

Despaired because someone wanted to close his shop for an indefinite period. He knew what and indefinite period was. It was not a happy thought.

Intrigued because Crowley was still in the back room.

He couldn’t not have listened. The demon was way too curious not to listen. And yet, he wasn’t here, when Aziraphale needed help. Which meant he was up to something. And right now, the Principality would accept any stupid plan.

“Oh, hello there” said a low, distinguished and sleepy voice. “What’s happening here ?”

_Thank God_, it was Crowley.

Aziraphale turned. And stared.

It… was Crowley. And a… sort of…

“Is that a rat ?” Asked one of the pest guys.

Crowley huffed in anger.

“Rat ? That is my DOG, sir ! don’t you recognise a guide dog when you see one ? This morning a woman thought my Algernon was a _mouse _! And I am the blind one !”

Aziraphale (and everyone else) looked at the white, tiny, ugly thing on the end of the leash.

It was… well, it could have been a dog. Or anything else. But it was on a leash, and said leash was held by a man in sunglasses with a posh accent. That was enough for the official (who knew elections were only weeks away).

“Mrs Gibsy… is that the _mouse_ that bit you ?”

The woman spluttered. Crowley snarled.

“Of course he bit her, she tried to kick him ! She assaulted my dog, sir ! I am glad you are back, dear Madam. I want to know your name ! My uncle seats at the house of Lords ! This is not to be borne ! I will...”

In a flurry of apologies and goodbyes, the official shepherded Mrs Gibsy and the pest control guys to the door in a blink.

“And be assured I will come back here and buy a lot of your delightful books, Mr Fell” he assured before exiting.

Aziraphale smiled

“No need, no need, I assure you, do not bother...”

He closed the door delicately, then turned to his friend.

Crowley snapped his fingers, and the little white, awful mongrel turned back into an adorable fluffy mouse.

The angel looked from his friend to the mouse several times. And erupted into laughter. Crowley and Algernon stared at each other, then the mouse turned away in disdain and disappeared under a shelf. Crowley turned back to his friend.

“A… A… A guide mouse !” the angel was almost crying such was his hilarity. Nope. He _was_ crying, tears running along his cheeks. Crowley hadn’t see him like that in at least a decade.

“It was… a guide _mouse_, Crowley !”

The demon started to smile. His angel’s laughter was always catching. He lifted his hand to his mouth, trying to repress the giggles that were building in. To no avail.

Algernon settled in his lair, huffing in disapproval at the laughters that filled the bookshop.

His caretaker was acting very weird sometimes. But he had to humour him.

After all, the angel had the best brie that ever existed.

  
  


  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, you saw it ! Crowley and Algernon's united forces to protect their angel !  
Enjoy, it will not happen again^^

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sketch(es?)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21576490) by [LaskasBasket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaskasBasket/pseuds/LaskasBasket)


End file.
